


Wondering...

by Serenity70peace45



Category: Original Work
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Gen, Nature, Nature Imagery, Other, Poetry, Sadness, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, lost in thought, thought piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27466360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenity70peace45/pseuds/Serenity70peace45
Summary: Just a random poem about being lost in thought while at a local lake. I hope you enjoy this?
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 1





	Wondering...

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I'm not perfect, but sometimes I wonder where I've gone wrong. Why no one seems to like me much despite being friendly and caring. I give more than I could ever take. I'm just confused. This is just me getting lost in my head while at the lake.

Long day,  
Today.  
Was efficient,  
Was determined,  
And fast.  
Boss would be proud. 

Honestly,  
It didn't really matter.  
People were still nasty,  
Today.

Ripping my confidence,  
With their words,  
Slurs,  
And dismissals.

Sitting by the lake,  
I drift off,  
Deep into the recesses,  
Of my mind. 

Questions,  
Popping like popcorn in a microwave,  
In my head.  
Why do I feel so blue?

Why do people find me so intense?  
More precise definition of intense?

Why do I exist?  
Are eyes really the windows to the soul?  
Will they kick me out if I just stay here?  
Should I just forget the world?  
Forget everyone?  
Be really selfish for once?

No, I couldn't do that.  
Too many,  
Responsibilities,  
People to please.

Mind continues to unravel,  
As the leaves fall,  
From nearby trees.  
As the water from the lake,  
Laps forward and back,  
Across the shore.  
Winter fast approaching.

My problems are nothing.  
Compared to everyone else's.  
Others have it worse.

More questions,  
In my mind.  
As a nearby boat,  
Blazes on by.  
Wind beginning to pick up.

Why?  
Is it so hard?  
To talk to people?  
Mental and personal walls up,  
Before they even meet me.  
Slammed doors in my face,  
Don't try,  
To take it personally.  
Can never take it too personally.  
Makes me wonder,  
Why?

How can I speak to people,  
Who refuse to see me,  
To talk to me on the phone,  
To video chat,  
To see emails,  
And letters.  
So many methods,  
To communicate,  
Yet there really is none.

I will never meet them,  
Not really.  
Live worlds away.  
An online persona,  
Is all that they see.  
In person friends,  
Never have time.  
Some just plain ditch me.

Why do I care?  
Can dance alone.  
Have for years.  
Still do.  
Don't need friends?

Yeah,  
You do.  
Why is this so hard?

At least I have the library,  
This lake's shore,  
My small room,  
All havens in this insane world.

Adventures I take,  
In books,  
To the park,  
To the zoo,  
Hiking in the mountains,  
City excursions.

Will things work out?  
Does the universe hate me?  
Will have to see to find out. 

Walking home now,  
Still lost in thought.  
Someday,  
Maybe I will find myself.  
Find friends.  
For now,  
I'm dancing,  
With myself. 

Wonders,  
Still never cease,  
To amaze me,  
Make me question,  
My place,  
In this world.


End file.
